I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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