Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
