everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
