She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
