Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
