Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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