Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
