that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
