someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
