I didn't shave. On purpose
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
