i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
