My brain says no but my pants say off.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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