dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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