Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
