I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
