not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize