Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
40s are totally the cure
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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