I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
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