OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
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As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
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I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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