After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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