I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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