I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
