My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
