Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
