So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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