Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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