I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He has the fingertips of a God
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