My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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