when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
