Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"