3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS