xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.