If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..