if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.