he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.