Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
