But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
