Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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