I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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