If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
