Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
