It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
