I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
