Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I need water and some morals
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
