Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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