i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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