he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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