This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
