Your mouth is God's brothel.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
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Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
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I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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