Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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