Quick, to the slutcave!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize