Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My penis needs a shock collar
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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