I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
