jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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