It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
