its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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