everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
