Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
