Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
