So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
