Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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