I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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