A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
