we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
