I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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