i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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