In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
