After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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