Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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