I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
