these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
