Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
